There are times in this life, as we know it, when an understanding is so clear that it makes sense on every level of truth, and logic, and origin. And the origin of that truth does not matter. It is so profound that we cannot ignore it. It may calm and motivate you to a higher level of life, to an improved ground or purpose, and then become woven into your life as certain as breath.
She was aging and frail, and I did not see how close she was to death. So it was, when the nurses suggested we consult with hospice, it blindsided me to the degree I first declined and then accepted the offer to “just meet with them to learn more”. In a few short months, I was fully engaged in hospice and its compassionate efficiency at easing pain and allowing death to come. But in the months after her passing, I began to question the process and wonder if ushering in death was too fast. Did that life event, that life-ending process of pain medication and family vigil and not eating and lying down in bed for that final time, speed her passing? These things I considered.
Then quietly, on the wings of compassion and in the space between awake and sleep, I asked again, “Did I hasten your leaving? Could you have stayed longer?” I saw her smile and heard her say, “I was ready to go.”
There are times in this life, as we know it, when an understanding is so clear that it makes sense on every level of truth, and logic, and origin. And the origin of that truth does not matter. It is so profound that we cannot ignore it. It may calm and motivate you to a higher level of life, to an improved ground or purpose, and then become woven into your life as certain as breath.
Carrie Bergener
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